From: MSN NicknameEagle_wng  (Original Message)    Sent: 6/19/2005 1:36 AM

Complete and Utter Nonsense

Friday, June 17, 2005. Issue 3189. Page 8.
By Michele A. Berdy
Ахинея: nonsense, folderol, claptrap, bunk

One of the great things about linguistic study is that you can spend three hours on the phone talking about BS, and it's all in the name of scholarship. A Russian translator friend calls, wondering how best to translate the word "bullshit" into Russian, and before you know it, you've discussed etymology, dipped into several scholarly tomes, checked out Internet chats, done comparative studies of derivations and connotations in Russian and English and concluded that this is a topic worthy of a Ph.D. dissertation. In other words, you can have a serious bull session about bull and write it off as a work-related expense. Sure beats punching a time clock.

Although the English "bullshit" packs a wallop, I vote for Russian expressions: They are definitely more colorful and far more literate. Take the meaning of BS as a verb: "to deceive someone." In Russian you can use the more decorous, but deliciously ludicrous expressions пудрить мозги (literally, "to powder someone's brain") or лапшу на уши вешать (literally "to hang noodles over someone's ears"). BS can also be a noun that means nonsense, and once you enter the realm of inanity, Russian really shines.

There is the simple calque нонсенс (nonsense) or the native Russian вздор (poppycock) and глупости (foolishness). If you mean bullshit in the sense of empty words and promises, you can use the words трёп or пустяки. Пустяки are "empty things" -- little nothings. In some contexts, they refer to trifles: Лишь бы детям жилось весело и хорошо -- а остальное всё пустяки. (As long as the children's lives are happy and good -- nothing else matters.) But in the context of talk, they refer to empty words. Неужели тебе самому не скучно болтать такие пустяки! (Don't you bore yourself when you talk such piffle?)

Another common word for nonsense is чушь or the stronger phrase чушь собачья (literally "dog nonsense"). For emphasis, you can add на постном масле (in oil) or с маслом (with oil) to ерунда or чушь: Трогательная идиллия -- чушь с маслом! (A touching idyll -- what stuff and nonsense!)

Then there's ерунда. Scholars argue about the derivation, but true or not, I like the explanation that it comes from the Latin gerundium (gerund), which Russians perceived as nonsense since the language doesn't have any gerunds. In any case, it's a fine sort of BS. Take this bit of dialog from a 19th-century Russian novel: Политикой занимаетесь? Что политика? Ерунда. ... Что мы, гимназисты, можем значить в какой бы то ни было политике? (Are you involved in politics? What politics? It's all balderdash. ... What difference can high school students make in any kind of politics?)

Another good word for BS that harkens back to ancient times is ахинея. Russian etymologists throw ashtrays at each other over proposed derivations of this word: While most agree that it comes from the word Athenian, exactly how it came to mean "convoluted nonsense" is hotly debated. Не пьян ведь, а какую ахинею порет! (You're spouting nonsense and you're not even drunk!)

If you are more Gallic in temperament, you might try the word галиматья, which, everyone seems to agree, comes from the French word galimatias, meaning "gibberish." Такая галиматья! Что же этот вздор может означать, по-твоему? (What doubletalk! What do you think that nonsense means?) If you believe a comment isn't worth a plug nickel, you can say выеденного яйца не стоит (literally, "It's not worth a consumed egg"). Or you can call it набор слов (hot air, a "collection of words" that has no meaning).

If you are with friends in an informal situation such as sitting at the bar and shooting the breeze, you might try the crude хренотень, which is derived from slang for a man's private parts. I found this decidedly outspoken headline: Хренотень какую-то говорит этот Фрадков! (That Fradkov Really Piles on the Bullshit!)

Different body parts, same idea.

Michele A. Berdy is a Moscow-based translator and interpreter.

http://www.moscowtimes.ru/stories/2005/06/17/007.html